Who Let the Dogs Out? Peps and Pearl Come to Austin

I packed my SUV so tightly there was no room to spare. In the car were framed paintings, two portfolios of unframed work, 3 small suitcases, a rug and perhaps the most important cargo - my two Golden Retrievers, Pepsi and Pearl. Pearl took her usual space in what I refer to as the "way back" while Peps rode shot gun with me up front, strapped into the seat belt with her pink harness. She made people smile who pulled beside us with her regal stance and erect posture. I put the cooler in front and covered it with two layers of towels to form an expanded seat for her. The car was so full we had little view of Pearl who laid on the worn comforter from my bed, unwashed so the smells of home would help her feel secure. She shared her space with two small duffel bags, water bowls and toys. It was a brutal drive, 14 hours the first day and 17 the next, yet they both hung in there like troopers. The first night we arrived at the Fairmont Resort in Scottsdale at 10PM. I had gotten lost and called ahead, and the staff person guided me to the exit on the phone. I was worried they might be less than welcoming to a guest with two doggies; however, when I drove up they were waiting for me and received the dogs so enthusiastically they brought cold water for their bowls and offered to walk them.

The grounds provided ample walking territory for the girls, and the room was spacious and luxurious. I wanted to take advantage of the amenities such one the five pools that is open 24 hours to refresh me in the 115 degree heat. I tied the girls to the fence while I took a quick dip. They gave me a "that's not fair you get to go in and not us" look so I made it quick. We slept in comfort on a King size bed and awoke to a long day of driving ahead. I was so grateful to the staff for their help I made a special trip to the front desk to change a large bill to leave tips for the guys who were so helpful the night before. When I asked to see the manager so I could express my gratitude and compliment the staff personally, she came out and went crazy over the dogs offering to take them if I wanted to swim or relax on my own. In fact, she asked if I would mind following her to the General Manager's office so he could see the dogs - he was also the proud owner of a Golden Retriever. It was exactly what I needed, and they assured me next time I visited with the dogs they would be happy to dog sit for as long as I wanted. We went back to the room to eat our breakfast, room service for me and kibble for them. Reluctantly, I loaded the car and headed to Austin.

Originally I intended to stop along the way. As I drove through West Texas there was no place I felt comfortable staying. Each time I began to wane, the desolate and uninviting lodging renewed my energy. I stopped for gas and pee breaks as often as I could, and to let Pearl know we were still with her though she could not see us. I was amazed at how well they endured the drive. I soothed Peps by stroking her for hours on end, talking and singing to her. At one stop in West Texas I walked them in a scruffy area near the gas station and noticed Pearl limping. It was dusk so visibility was poor. I looked at her paw and stuck in between her foot pads was a fox tail and small pieces nailed directly in her pads. I pulled them out as best I could and then went int o the store to buy a tweezer to get the small shards. A woman whose Golden was at home came over to compliment me on the girls and saw the panic in my face. "Do you think she is walking okay?" I asked her, frightened and riddled with guilt that I caused irreparable damage by taking her away from the only home she had known.
"She is fine, don't worry, look at how spry she is".
In the middle of nowhere the kindness of strangers can be invaluable.

The three of us passed through time zones and miles of unforgiving landscape. Thirty four years of California played through my mind. Everything felt like a concept, the life once lived as well as the one yet to come. The concrete consisted of only the girls and I, contained in a passing vessel, threading together two distinct lives. When we finally arrived at Cloverleaf Lane, our long journey had concluded. After the girls romped in their large backyard we spilled onto the unmade bed, our old comforter with smells of life on Dohrmann Lane to cover us. As long as we have each other we are okay I assured them while trying to believe it myself. The sounds of our neighbors beginning their day lulled us to sleep.

Two weeks of mornings have passed. Each day we feel more at home and gain distance from being a concept to being in our life. With the exception of a couch and chair yet to be delivered, the house is intact. The yard that may have felt like a park is now a known quantity complete with neighbor dogs to bark at and taunt through the fence. We have been swimming at Barton Springs several times, and made our first trip to Red Bud Island today, a dog park with trails and swimming a plenty. They seem happy though there is a sense that something is not quite right such as not looking out on Dohrmann Lane hours at a time, greeting Rena and Jonathan everyday, their Papa, Gene and Pac, the neighbor kids and the familiar scents of their "old house". For this reason I hired a dog trainer to come and work with me on "call back" commands. It was a matter of safety and neither dogs were listening to me when I called them. The motto dogs rule might need to be revised in our home after all.

I learned of the dog trainer at the local cafe. We had a long chat on the phone and agreed that private lessons the first few times would be most effective before small group. When she entered the house greeted her in their usual way, Pearl jumping up, Pepsi bringing a toy and Pearl snatching the toy from Pepsi. Within minutes I noticed the look of concern on the trainer's face and it got progressively worse from there. It was like a reality show I saw on a cable channel for people with untrained dogs. Pepsi refused to sit for her without a treat, a first in all her years of training and a Golden Retriever at that, even aggressive dogs have complied better than Peps. Pearl was a little better, but not much. The words alpha and confused and boundaries and obstinate flowed like the river Jordan. I wanted to laugh when Pepsi held her ground but plastered a silly smile on my face instead and shrugged my shoulders like I had no idea how this calamity had occured. After an hour of drills, there was reason for hope; however, it was a grim situation for sure, and it would take some time to reinforce basic commands much less compliance to "call backs."

We sat at the kitchen table to discuss a plan of action. She asked me a series of questions:
Do they sleep on the bed with you? (what do you think?)
Do you leave toys on the floor all the time? (how else are they going to play with them?)
Do you respond to their barking? (why not, aren't they smart for trying to tell me something? these are SPECIAL dogs)
Do you spit food to them when you give them commands? (huh?) Oh so they will look at you, that is clever actually...

Even simple questions seemed perilous:
How many times do you feed them? (Uh, two times a day????OK????) Train them before you feed them, they have to learn nothing in life is free..I barely taught my kids that but okay, here goes tough love for dogs.
How often do you exercise them? (every other day to swim, walk at night) At least 20 minutes, right? (do I time it? we just walk until I decide I am tired or have something else to do like go home and kill flying clicking beetles)

In fairness she was spot on for most things, particularly about safety, and yes these babies are attached to me, overly perhaps, and have separation anxiety. Peps is confused about being the alpha and who is in charge. The truth is I love Peps' personality and her obstinacy and Pearly's little attitude and how she gives you her little bark when she wants your attention. However, I want them safe and that will require they obey my commands and feel I am in charge which means I must train them everyday without fail. After the first day I called the trainer to let her know how well they were doing, and how proud I was of the strategy I discovered to train them to sit, lay down, stay and release. Rather than try to separate them, they are doing it in unison. I mean, how clever is that? And these brilliant dogs, can you believe it, they are like synchronized swimmers! What was her first response after the silence? Well, that is good but you will have to get them to listen on their own at some point but good for you finding what works! Hm mm, it might turn out that ridding the house of beetles will be a cake walk compared to training my dogs and winning her praise.

At the vet's office later that afternoon the subject took a more humorous turn. Dr. Chan and the Vet Tech chuckled as I recounted our session. They admitted to their dogs having similar issues: who has time to train after being with dogs all day? It eased the burden of shame and failure I felt, a total pushover who assigns "human" characteristics to her pets out of her own needs rather than what is best for them. My resolve to train them remained firm; however, we are a comical threesome my dogs and I, and truth be told, I would not assign human characteristics to these amazing creatures who in many cases are far superior to humans. They are wonderful companions who have taken the edge off pain in times of despair, they ask for little and give much in return, their joy is my joy and my pain is their pain. Watching them play brings a smile to my face. When I think of them uncomplicated and unconditional love without demand comes to mind. The thought of their passing is too much to bear. I look forward to turning the key each time I return home. If you are not a "dog person" this may seem self indulgent and frivolous; however, you may reconsider when you see first hand how they will not leave my side when I am sick or run to me the instant they detect even one sob, or bark when we raise our voices in anger. There is a reason dogs are trained as therapy and guide dogs, and research indicates that elderly live longer with pets.

Pepsi and Pearl connect me to life’s simple joys. Their curiosity and transparency are contagious. They find wonder in a blade of grass or smelling a plant, and follow birds in flight with a dramatic intensity. Watching them navigate the ocean waves or swim in the bay is nothing short of majestic. They inspire and connect me to the essential elements of life with their unmitigated joy, loyalty and pureness of motive. Other than basic survival needs, they yearn only for our love and approval without employing treachery or underhandedness. Love has no time line or expiration dates. It is not reserved for certain people, or dictated by others,it belongs to us and dispensed as we determine.

Perhaps I am just another woman on the cusp of middle age fending off loneliness. Over the years I have learned a thing or two about where to invest my energy and love, and my girls are a sure bet. On the rebound or smarting from a devastating blow, we often convince ourselves that we are better off alone and need to cultivate our self-reliance. In itself it is not bad advice; however, as a reflex action from scarcity and not abundance it can be a double-edged sword. Even the most independent of us are not harmed by some degree of love and need. For me the verdict is still out on romantic love, and though my kids are still orbiting my universe, I have relocated to a new city to begin a new chapter. What it means to be alone or have friends or a partner is as fluid and changing a notion as what it means to be a mother with grown children, artist and PhD student at 52 years of age. In essence, love comes in many forms, and whether it is love given and received by pets or people, we are fortunate to claim the blessings. Peps, Pearl and I are a work in progress, learning and instructing, exploring and discovering the new smells of Austin, and in due time perhaps the old comforter in Pearl's "way back" of the car will come to represent both fond memories from Dohrmann Lane as well as our new beginning in Austin.